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you were sleeping on my couch. i was so tempted to snuggle up next to you.

sigh

* * *
It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song
You can't believe it. You were always singing along.
It was so easy. And the words so sweet.
You can't remember. You try to feel the beat.


You spend half of your life trying to fall behind.
You're using your headphones to drown out your mind.
It was so easy. And the words so sweet.
You can't remember. You try to move your feet.
* * *
I want to know everything you know.
I want to go everywhere you've gone.
I want to hear your stories because I love hearing about your life and your grandmother and the applesauce you used to eat when you were a child.
I know the permanent marker I wrote upon your hand with will wash away but for now you know and you can remember.
You can think back on your memories that you store away in twine of that want-to-be musician who wrote, "I love you," on your hand in blue ink.
You can look back and think of me.

You can think of how you smiled when you read it and how you kissed me from across the bed, on your knees to reach.
You can think of waking up that Saturday morning to me playing guitar on the edge of the bed and you joining me in a made-up song.

And I think I'll feel better if you ever leave because I know that something will evoke this memory of me.

* * *

when you left, she was a wreck
cause she said, you left a mess
but you said that you'd be back home?
didn't wanna see her all alone

& you bet she took your word
cause she said you'll never learn
all the things that you put her through
don't know why she's coming back to you

oh, she says she's alone
but she knows she's in love

mr winter, did you miss her?
for the 3 months you were gone
had her waiting all night long

mr winter, don't forget her
she'll be waiting all alone
please just say you'll come back..


& he's cold, but he keeps you warm
cause his love still burns for you
& you don't know what's in store
but you both know what is true

oh, she says she's alone
but she knows she's in love

Mr Winter, did you miss her?
For the 3 months you were gone
Had her waiting all night long

Mr Winter, don't forget her
She'll be waiting all alone
Please just say you'll come back

Mr Winter, don't forget her
She'll be waiting all alone
Please just say you'll come back, h o m e..

* * *
and you never ever let me inNow it's gonna get harder and it's gonna burn brighter
and it's gonna feel tougher each and every day
so let me say, that i love y o u, you're all I've ever wanted
all I've ever dreamed of to come
& yes y o u did come.
i want y o u s o b a d
can y o u feel it too?
y o u know I'm so, i'm so in love with y o u
i want y o u, s o m u c h, i need y o u, s o m u c h
i need y o u r , i need your, y o u r t o u c h

& i'll swim the ocean for y o u,
the ocean for y o u
woah, oh kelsey

& y o u never let me in


* * *
Dear portland,

For five years I have been here, trying to get to know you, trying to see inside you. Five years I have stood here down the map waiting for you to let me in. Let me be close to you, let me be your friend. I ask you one question, the only one that really matters, are you ready yet?

I have never had a reason to stand by you over time, other than I love you. I care about you genuinely. So here I am, standing at your doorstep. I don't have anything to offer you, I stand with empty hands. The only thing I can say is that I believe in you. I have always believed in you, and in our friendship, in these tired letters.

I want to know it all. I want to be the person you can count on thru the years to come. I want to show you that there is a reason why were both still standing here.

And so I ask, are you ready?
I have been here all along.

And no matter what I will still be here. And I hope to always have the promise of an empty page. The promise of whirling manic words. And I believe in those promises, because I know that these promises of pages are for you. And I believe in the steadfastness of our friendship.

Please let me in love,
Haverhill
* * *

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